Poetry + Art Journal: Nocturn

Journal by me | Collage photo from  Elle USA Aug 2012 issue

NOCTURN

Islets stand and wave proudly at low tide

Watch the sky as water leave fragments of the shattered

Ebbing away this worry you can’t hide

Cause the stars have fled when loneliness been gathered

Do scream your lungs out, pour your lukewarm tea

As word play part to dry blood and plea

The darkest of blackest night can’t erase your light

Eyes so genuine, supernova is in sight, with fright

Constellation shouldn’t be abscured by veil

I’m sitting here, you’re on the way to full moon

Don’t let the phase discourage, just crescent not fail

Knitting dreams of your silver thread of moonlight soon

My mood is almost as unpredictable as the weather these days. Yesterday, too sunny, made me drenched in uncomfortable sweat, whereas this moment comes the pouring. Yet, in the midst of these frustrating events, catching up with this rotten real world and the unfortunate wrath of Mother Nature in my hometown and also the raging internal storm of vulnerability inside me, surprisingly me in the past kinda have anticipated it. I scrolled through my notes and found this. She came as a spirit of this poem I wrote almost two years ago. Untitled like most of them. It somehow uplifts me to the level of neutral. Like everything is from the start again. Normal. Eerily normal.

            Well, since we can’t steal Time’s vehicle and sail the time to go back to the past just like what Alice did in Alice:Through The Looking Glass movie, nor can we wish to the star to give us a favor and casually walk back in the time we were about to make mistakes and remedy it by making it un-happened just like in Zathura. And the sparkly magical dust in the closet won’t work either, no matter how desperate we are crying and regretting and wishing over and over that we’re just the upset Jenna who is about to lose Matt. But having someone from the past that actually makes me think as if we talk or at least share an understanding together under the same circumstances is the closest ‘ok, fine’ feeling I actually get when I found my poem. To be honest, I don’t even remember what triggered me to write the poem. I’ve actually forgotten the symbols or the implicitness I so hard worked on it. I even think this poem is too forced in a way. But the calming sensation as I read the poem and thinking, ‘I made it so far and definitely dealt with this same issue, but somehow overcame it, so why bother give up now?’ Thanks to my old self for cheering me up. I wish I could say I love you, eh?


Curtsey